Saying too much, Saying too little

Hello everyone!

I promised a monthly blogpost so here I am...three days before the end of the month.

Nonetheless, I am here!

Recently I discovered something about myself.

I know what you’re thinking, what is it now, Kay? It’s like you learn something new each week.

But yes, I have a new discovery. Believe it or not, I’m not the best at communication.

I know, I know. You’re thinking, “well you’re a writer, how is this possible?”

If you put me in a room full of people that I know to engage in small talk, I will panic! That’s just the difference in writing and conversation. I can easily write my thoughts out, but actually speaking one-on-one with people is terrifying. I can hardly do it.

This has affected me for years. My networking skills are horrific, I don’t have many friends, and people think I am arrogant. When in reality, I am just shy and terrible at communication.

This stems from my lack of trust. I am comfortable and can easily open up with those that I trust. For example, my best friend and sisters.

However, if I rarely talk to you, or I am meeting you for the first time, it’s really hard for me to speak.

BUT NONETHELESS EVERYONE, I AM WORKING ON IT!

This, among other things, are currently being improved. I am too old to be frightened to speak. Especially when I have a lot of opinions and a lot to say on a day to day.

Recently, a friend of mine, of 10 years, was having a genuine conversation with me and I found it hard to keep the conversation going. I answered with short replies and only focused on what I was doing. Mind you, with focus and meditation, I have perfected my listening skills. In my opinion, replying and engaging in conversation should not be as hard.

To communicate better, I need to work on my answers. Generally when asked, “how are you”, I answer with, “I’m fine”, as most people do. “What have you been up to” then leads to “just school or work”. I usually keep my answers short and frank. I have to give a longer answer! I know that and I am working on it!

Lastly, I need to get better at keeping the conversation going! This is acquired by asking more questions and speaking more. I can get better by giving out as much information as what people give to me. For example:

Me: “Hey, what have you been up to?”

Them: “Nothing much, just work.”

Me: “Oh, how’s that? You just started working there, right?”

Them: “Yeah, it’s a bit tough right now. Just getting accustomed to everything.”

Now see, that’s where I’m stuck. That’s all I got! I would honestly end the conversation with “that’s cool”. I feel as if it’s the other person’s turn to ask questions. If that doesn’t happen, there would be no conversation.

But I promise, I AM WORKING ON IT!

I've struggled with this for years because I of the private home I grew up in. The norm was to say less and not talk about yourself. But what is our growth statement about? Breaking these old habits and changing ourselves.

And that's exactly what I am going to do! Check back on me in a few months and I will update you all on my communication!

Thanks for listening to me chatter about something dear to me. You guys have always been great communicators.

Love you all

-Kay