The Hard Truths About Friendships in Adulthood

Hello?

Is anyone still here?

An apology isn't even enough at this point. I disappeared for a long time. Honestly, it's almost diabolical. I can't even call it "being busy" anymore. But clinical rotations take a toll on you. Monday through Friday, 8-5, or sometimes even 7-7. And then, squeezing in test and exams in between? You have to understand where I'm coming from!

But let's put all that aside. I'm here now. And I'm happy to be back. After some (not-so-subtle) requests for me to continue blogging, here I am.

Get ready for more PA school reflections, health and wellness, and a dose of vulnerability and honest truths in my upcoming blogs.

Anyways, how have you been?

As for me, I've been great. I thank God for 2024. It was an incredible year. A year of growth. A year of learning. A year of resilience. A year of victory.

I am beyond grateful to God for helping me overcome PA school, and, most recently, for getting my board certification. I could not have done it without His grace.

I know what you're waiting for: What's my latest dilemma?

Well, let's talk about adult friendships. Have you ever struggled with making or maintaining friendships as an adult?

It's not as easy as it seems. Especially for someone who considers themselves an introvert. But I've learned a few things on this journey:

1. Friendships require effort. I think this is where I struggle the most. I tend to stick to myself, and I don't always think to check in on others. Unlike in school, friendships don't just happen, you have to be intentional. You have to reach out. You have to check in. You have to do your part. I feel like that's my main issue. But it's something I said I would work on this year, and hopefully I am able to improve with this.

2. Not every friendship is meant to last. I've written about this in a past blog, but it's a lesson that keeps proving itself true. Some friendships are seasonal, and that's okay. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. This year, I realized that having just a handful of close, meaningful friendships is far more valuable than having 20 people who wouldn't show up for you when it matters. Quality over quantity, always.

3. Communication is key. Assumptions can ruin relationships. Trust me, I'm still working on this myself. Clear, honest communication strengthens friendships and prevents unnecessary misunderstandings. It's always better to address things head on rather than let them fester.

4. Know your worth. If someone doesn't make the effort to include you, or make you feel valued, it can be a sign that the friendship is not as strong or meaningful to them as it is to you. It is important to reassess how much energy you put into a relationship. Friendships should be reciprocal, where both people make an effort and care about each other's feelings. Sometimes setting boundaries, and distancing yourself are key. It is important to focus on nurturing positive relationships while creating space for new, high-quality friendships.

I'm thankful for these lessons. It took me a whole year to fully grasp them, but they've helped me appreciate the few true friends I have. I've also learned that not everyone is meant to be my friend, and I'm learning to be okay with that. I know I'm a good person, and my personality won't mesh with everyone, and that's fine. But for the friendships I do have, I will continue to cherish and nurture them.

As we step into 2025, I encourage you to reflect on your own friendships and be intentional about them. What's your biggest lesson you've learned about friendships? I would love to hear your thoughts!

Thinking of you, always,

-Kay