#kobeyear

Hello, friends.

It's been a while. I apologize. Life comes at you fast, and saying that I have been "busy" seems so redundant, because we make time for what we want, right? lol.

Seriously, I apologize. I am here. And I promise to give a new blogpost each month!

Now, to today's blogpost. Well, I am officially 24 by the time this post comes out. Goodness, 23 was a year. 23 was the year I have learned and unlearned the most, packed and unpacked the most. My "growth" year. In my last post, I shared some things I learned in 2021. I want to briefly share two valuable things I have learned at 23 that has stuck with me throughout the year.

"I AM NOT WHO I WAS YEARS AGO. "

Forgiveness and Change.

Forgiveness is important. I had a significant situation happen with me earlier last year. The situation was still replaying in my mind and it made me realize I was not fully over it like I claimed I was. I was still hurt over it. It then dawned on me, as a Christian, was I sure I had really forgiven these people? I claimed I was over it and I had forgiven them, however I was not healed over it.

"But this person was mean to me. They hurt me."

For my mental health I knew I had to forgive these people. I couldn't allow myself to be down and harbor hate in my heart because of this. Especially as a woman who claims she is "strong in her faith".

Don't get me wrong, you can forgive, and not forget. But for your healing, you must forgive. Even if you do not have closure with that person, it is important to have it with yourself. Understand what happened to you, what the experience was, understand why the person did what they did, and finally forgiving them and yourself. This will then allow you to become stronger than ever.

Change is important in your journey of growth.

I am not who I was years ago.

I am not who I was years ago.

I am not who I was years ago.

I am NOT who I was years ago.

I took a developmental psychology course earlier this year, and I learned that around this stage in life, you start to notice several different things. The stage from Erikson's Psychosocial Stage is intimacy vs. isolation. We struggle with our identity at this stage. We are still trying to figure out who we truly are. We no longer believe or subscribe to the things we learned when we were younger. Our ideals and values change at this change.

"You've changed."

Well, yeah. You're supposed to.

I believe it's hard for some people to grasp that you are not the same person they met years ago. I do not have the same beliefs and standards I did when I was 12, 13, 16 or even 18. As an adult, I am allowed to change who I am, my beliefs and my standards. I am currently still figuring out who I am and what I like. At 23, I was able to focus on who I wanted as my friend and as my partner.

And fun fact, I am still changing. This is 100% allowed. Grow. It's part of life. You are doing everything right.

I am proud of you each and every day. Thank you for following me to 24. I love you.

-Kay.